I was fortunate enough to grow up being very close to many of my cousins on both sides of my family. Teri, Jesse, and Jeremy were the big brothers and sister that always had my back. Even today we're still close, and I wouldn't give that up for anything. Then there's the Brenda, Abby, and Bridget triangle of the Three Musketeer's on my dad's side. Granted I pretty much just forced my way into that one being the youngest, but they loved me and I know that they're glad I did it. Holidays, birthdays, life events, you name it, I was always surrounded by family and friends. That's how I spent the first 21 years of my life. Maybe it's just my family, but I've got a feeling most of everyone reading this probably had a similar upbringing in some way or another. I like to think its as close to "normal" as it can get.
However, that's almost exactly opposite of what life has been like for me for the past 3 years. I moved to Colorado with my husband to start our new life. In all honesty, I was only more than happy to leave Minnesota and all of the painful memories that haunted me from my previous relationship. I felt like I couldn't even go back to my home town anymore because someone or other was judging me for ending my engagement and hurting a great guy. So, running away from the problem seemed like a good answer. I'm not great at dealing with pain and hurtful things head on; it's never been my strong suit. I thought living a thousand miles away would solve all of my problems, but it only created an even bigger one. I missed home. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed my "normal". Then to top it off I had Logan. He's already 19 months and have spent almost all of that away from both sides of his extended family. That just doesn't seem fair to him that he would have to grow up never having those bonds or memories with his cousins and other family like both Bryan and I did.
I expressed to Bryan that I wanted to move back to MN. He's never been a fan of the MN cold or extreme heat and humidity so it wasn't a surprise when he wasn't completely onboard with packing up, renting a U-Haul, and going. Although he had a similar upbringing being close to family, he also had an extremely different life for 5 years in the military. Those 5 years pretty much wiped away any sort of nostalgia he had left when it comes to extended family and holidays. Don't get me wrong, he still loves his family very much and would love to see them more often, but he's much more ok with only seeing them once a year. For me, once a year is like torture. I can't imagine being away from my family for that long at a time, especially when I know that nothing is necessarily keeping me from them (like deployments or restrictions).
I've been told that my incessant need to see my family is borderline co-dependent. I'd like to differ, but, could they be right? I can function without them (I've proved that while living a normal life in Colorado), but the thing is that I just simply don't want to. I want to be able to call up my sister on a week day and meet up for lunch or coffee. I like being able to call my mom or ask my dad if they'd like to watch Logan for a few hours so I can go run some errands by myself. It's great having things to do and people to see more than once every 4 months.
So now I'd like to ask your opinion, do you think this is co-dependence or simply just a close family kind of thing? I love gaining outsiders perspectives so feel free to comment. I hope everyone has a very successful night of trick-or-treating! Until next time, take care! :)
The Three Musketeers
Family
The "Old Man" and "Blond Boy"
Teri, Jameson, Logan, and I
Cousins "Aba" & "Nonic"
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