Change is the rule, not the exception

Today's blog is short, sweet, and simply food for your thoughts.

We live in a world that is constantly changing, moving, evolving.  Unless you've been living under a rock for your entire life, there's no escaping it.  So, you're left with two choices: 1)you can embrace it and make the most of it or 2)you can fight it and inevitably build yourself a fallout shelter in order to keep your world untouched.  You choose.  Nothing has been truer than this; change is the rule, not the exception.

Do you accept change??

4 big things

I seem to be making myself famous for going MIA for months at a time.  My apologies to anyone who was reading my posts on any sort of regular basis.  I will try not to let it become so long in the future. 

While on my little hiatus, I made a few more discoveries about myself.
1)I need to be more open and honest with myself, with God, and with those around me.
2)I want to rely more on Him for things that are out of my control, rather than on Google, FB, or any other social media craze.
3)I need to do something more serious about my health and daily living.
4)I need to make time.  For myself, for Logan, for friends and family, and for strangers.

It seems pretty straight forward and easy enough, right?  I certainly hope so.  These are areas in my life that I seem to regularly fall off track.  I say that I'm going to start a new health routine, but after 3-4 days I've already stopped.  I put it out for the world to see on facebook what is going on with my life and with Logan, but I forget to tell the one person who already knows (the big man upstairs).  I prefer to tell the world a sugar coated version of the truth to keep people from judging me.  I could go on and on with examples, but you get the picture.  I need to start sticking with my original intentions and seeing them through to the very end.

I'll be the first to admit, I'm slightly terrified about some of them.  Being honest with myself is a big one.  Like all of the areas that I listed, this is going to take a lot of hard work, dedication, and willingness to be open and vulnerable.  I've let people down and hurt others in the past because I wasn't willing to be honest with myself.  I want nothing more than to make amends for those actions and to begin moving forward. 

My hope is that by putting this out there for the world to see that I will be able to hold myself better accountable for my thoughts and actions.  Here's a little spoiler alert: I'm going to make a lot of mistakes.  It'll be good though.  Mistakes help to keep you humble.  That and if you can learn from my mistakes simply by reading them, then you've saved yourself a bucket load of frustration in the process!

Hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy road!

Friday..

It's Friday.  The end of the work week (for some) and the beginning of the weekend.  I haven't felt the excitement of a Friday for a really long time.  Mostly because I've worked just about every single Saturday for the past 2 years.  I've finally found a Monday-Friday job and have officially survived my first full week (more on that later).  I was just starting to feel that wave of weekend relief roll over me when I suddenly came to the disappointing realization that Saturday will never mean the same thing to me again. 

It's not that I don't enjoy the weekends, because believe me I definitely do!  It's just that a weekend of not working doesn't mean that I actually have the weekend "off".  I'm a mom.  I will never have a weekend off for the rest of my life.  I will always be caring for and worrying about my little man.  I don't get to call in sick and I can't exactly find someone to fill in for me. 

Having a kid means accepting a lot of responsibility.  It is up to you to mold them and teach them right from wrong.  You're the one who has to decide how to discipline them and how to reward them for their good behaviors, all without going over board on either end of the spectrum.  It's a damn hard job trying to get it just right.  I'm just going to throw this out there and say that I have by no means "figured it out" 100%. 

My son likes to test his boundaries and push my buttons all of the time.  He learns and listens for a little while, but then finds it absolutely hilarious watching me get more and more frustrated.  It takes everything in me not to blow up on him some days.  He really does know better, but how do I get him to realize that that's not only the right way, but the only way to act at all times.  If anyone has the secret please feel free to share it with the rest of the class lol! ;)

I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy your Friday night :).

Keep calm and be strong

As some of you may know I grew up with an older sister and a younger brother, this put me in the middle.  I'll admit, yes, I definitely experienced the proverbial "middle child" syndrome from time to time.  It did manage to have its perks some days so I couldn't complain too much. 

One of those perks was that I didn't have to be the strong one in our family.  Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually(and anything else you can think of), I was never the one that others looked to for support or guidance.  While it helped me in the past, it has become a hindrance in the present.  Life has thrown me some pretty wonky cards in the past 4 years.  Each of which has forced me to rely more so on myself and become a stronger person. 

Normally I'd be all for personal growth but I'm going to let you in on a little secret.........I'm terrified.  It's not that I don't want to be a strong person.   However, instead of having to grow and be strong for just me, I now have to have double the amount of strength for Logan as well.  He is very perceptive and understands more and more every single day.  I never want him to think that I'm not a strong mom.  Given our current settings I feel like I'm already pulling double duty on a lot of things.  The last thing I need is to fail in any capacity. 

They say that everything takes practice, commitment, and time in order to become successful.  That same principle can be applied in order to make something become a part of your daily life.  Well if that's the case then it looks like I've got some serious homework to do.  Looks like I'll need to take a page out of my little brother's handbook to just "Keep calm and be strong". 

This won't be one of my easier challenges in life, but like all things, it'll be worth it in the end.  I hope that everyone else is able to find their own strength during tough times.  Until next time. :)

Not what I had in mind..

Last week I think I probably wished everyone a Happy Halloween about 10 times because I was so excited for it myself.  I had Logan's costume all set to go and couldn't wait to get started with our little kitty, Ava.  Unfortunately, my wisdom tooth decided it had other plans.  It was pretty sore all afternoon, but as the end of the day drew closer I could barely stand the pain.  Needless to say, I wasn't able to do much damage control on Logan's candy bag (even though most of it was pretty healthy stuff).  That night I woke up twice because of the pain.  I'd never had any kind of mouth pain like that ever before in my life, and I was completely miserable!  Friday morning I called around to see if anyone could get me in.  The soonest appointment available was for Monday at 11:30.  Are you freaking kidding me?!  How in the heck was I supposed to survive another 3 and a half days like that?!  Luckily, I didn't have to wait that long.  My awesome boss made some calls and found someone who would come in that evening and take care of it for me.  He shot me up with 3 or 4 pens worth of Novocain and a little bit of laughing gas.  After about 30 seconds they both kicked in and I could have sworn that I was inside a kaleidoscope listening to a rocket blast into space! Hahaha!  Needless to say they worked wonderfully and he got the tooth out before I even realized it.  Now I just had to deal with the little bit of after pain and the fear of dry socket.

The remainder of that day and the rest of the weekend I did everything possible to avoid getting dry socket.  I stayed away from using any kind of straw, I didn't drink carbonated or caffeinated beverages, and I stuck to the softest foods I could find.  This again bit me in the butt when I went to my cousin Jeremy and Heather's Halloween party.  One other tip for not agitating the hole in my mouth was to stay away from beer.  Really?! I couldn't even have one beer?!  It was frustrating but I made it work by sticking to my Vodka Gummy Bears.  They were pretty potent and became Marissa's new weapon of choice!  I don't think I'll be able to look at a gummy bear the same way again after that night.  It was so great getting to see Jer, Heather, Jesse, Charity, and even auntie Pam stopped by!  Of course, the night wouldn't have been complete without a few heart-to-hearts with them.  I'm constantly reminded and shown what amazing family I have, and just how lucky I am to have them in my life.  I guess you're bound to get close when you spend your summers together at grandma's.  Oh the memories, lol! ;)

To end my weekend, I discovered it wasn't only my mouth that was having issues, Logan was cutting the gums on one of his 2 year molars.  I thought we'd already been through the teething crap for this tooth, but I guess the fun just keeps on coming.  He was having fevers off and on, sweating like crazy, wouldn't eat or drink much, and the poor baby couldn't sleep longer than an hour or two before waking up and wanting more orajel.  It's been draining on both of us, but I just hope that it's over soon.  Thank goodness for Gatorade.  That seems to be the only thing he wants to drink and it keeps him mostly hydrated.  He is currently taking a nap that has now lasted for 3 hours!  On the bright side, I'm able to get a few more things done, including taking a short nap myself.

Hopefully the rest of this week brings happy, encouraging, and positive things for my family and yours!  Take care :)

Close or co-dependent?

Like many of you, I grew up in a small town.  There wasn't much to do besides drink, party, do stupid things with friends, or go to another town because you've pretty much exhausted all other options.  Most of us found our way into some kind of trouble or another, but no matter what happened we always had our family and friends there to help steer us back to the right path.  Lucky for me, I have a pretty big list of family and friends who cared about me.  This meant that I got to hear a lot of repetitive scolding growing up. 

I was fortunate enough to grow up being very close to many of my cousins on both sides of my family.  Teri, Jesse, and Jeremy were the big brothers and sister that always had my back.  Even today we're still close, and I wouldn't give that up for anything.  Then there's the Brenda, Abby, and Bridget triangle of the Three Musketeer's on my dad's side.  Granted I pretty much just forced my way into that one being the youngest, but they loved me and I know that they're glad I did it.  Holidays, birthdays, life events, you name it, I was always surrounded by family and friends.  That's how I spent the first 21 years of my life.  Maybe it's just my family, but I've got a feeling most of everyone reading this probably had a similar upbringing in some way or another.  I like to think its as close to "normal" as it can get. 

However, that's almost exactly opposite of what life has been like for me for the past 3 years.  I moved to Colorado with my husband to start our new life.  In all honesty, I was only more than happy to leave Minnesota and all of the painful memories that haunted me from my previous relationship.  I felt like I couldn't even go back to my home town anymore because someone or other was judging me for ending my engagement and hurting a great guy.  So, running away from the problem seemed like a good answer.  I'm not great at dealing with pain and hurtful things head on; it's never been my strong suit.  I thought living a thousand miles away would solve all of my problems, but it only created an even bigger one.  I missed home.  I missed my family.  I missed my friends.  I missed my "normal".  Then to top it off I had Logan.  He's already 19 months and have spent almost all of that away from both sides of his extended family.  That just doesn't seem fair to him that he would have to grow up never having those bonds or memories with his cousins and other family like both Bryan and I did. 

I expressed to Bryan that I wanted to move back to MN.  He's never been a fan of the MN cold or extreme heat and humidity so it wasn't a surprise when he wasn't completely onboard with packing up, renting a U-Haul, and going.  Although he had a similar upbringing being close to family, he also had an extremely different life for 5 years in the military.  Those 5 years pretty much wiped away any sort of nostalgia he had left when it comes to extended family and holidays.  Don't get me wrong, he still loves his family very much and would love to see them more often, but he's much more ok with only seeing them once a year.  For me, once a year is like torture.  I can't imagine being away from my family for that long at a time, especially when I know that nothing is necessarily keeping me from them (like deployments or restrictions). 

I've been told that my incessant need to see my family is borderline co-dependent.  I'd like to differ, but, could they be right?  I can function without them (I've proved that while living a normal life in Colorado), but the thing is that I just simply don't want to.  I want to be able to call up my sister on a week day and meet up for lunch or coffee.  I like being able to call my mom or ask my dad if they'd like to watch Logan for a few hours so I can go run some errands by myself.  It's great having things to do and people to see more than once every 4 months. 

So now I'd like to ask your opinion, do you think this is co-dependence or simply just a close family kind of thing?  I love gaining outsiders perspectives so feel free to comment.  I hope everyone has a very successful night of trick-or-treating!  Until next time, take care! :)

The Three Musketeers

 

Family

 

The "Old Man" and "Blond Boy"

Teri, Jameson, Logan, and I

Cousins "Aba" & "Nonic"

A little bit of scary and a whole lot of sweet

I don't know about you, but my week always begins on Monday.  Today's long to-do list is jam packed with keeping up with Logan, doing some yard work before the snow this week (eeek!), food prep for this week's meals, cleaning the house, and oh yeah, starting my first day of work!!  I'll be working part time at State Farm doing some extra side work.  It's nothing too crazy, but I'm just excited to be working again.  I'm very lucky to have awesome friends and family members who are able to help me out in the process watching Logan. 

Speaking of my crazy little man, he is pretty pumped for all the candy that he's going to collect on Halloween!  He will be a Kansas City Chief's football player.  Under normal conditions I would protest, however this season they have started with an 8-0 record so I can't really say too much.  We'll be going out and about with Auntie and cousin Ava (which means mommy and auntie will be doing "quality control testing" on all of the candy lol!).  They'll have lots of time to catch a sugar high on Saturday while having a slumber party at Grandma Judy's house. 

As if I didn't get enough craziness and fun at the Schaffler's 1st Annual Halloween Party, this Saturday I'll get to spend the night with some of my favorite cousins!  This should be fun :).  I'll make sure to post pictures once my crazy week is over.  Until then, have a Happy Halloween everyone!